I think I would just let it ride.And if it didn,t talk to him about it.

Do you ladies think that by openly supporting your mates in watching/looking at adult material...it is supporting negative stereotypes of women? Does is desensitize people in their relationships and being able to relate to one another physically?

I know my friend likes to look at porn movies because in a conversation when we were talking the subject came up. I think much different than I did in my first marriage. I really love my friend and I want the relationship to be a healthy and happy one. I would watch porn with him because I would not want him to feel that he has to sneak and watch it.
I am very open with him and I want him to be the same with me. He knows that I am a real truthful person and that he can talk to me about anything and regardless of whatever is on his mind I will not judge him for whatever he believes in. Whenever I think of the word love I can say love is understanding, sharing, giving of yourself, taking time when there is no time, being patient, longsuffering, and being able to talk civil about issues even though you don't quite understand. Whatever he does that is not life threatening, I am with him 100%. I can say baby I got your back.

not much at all because we both look at it,but its all in fun.

First of all..I have been there and done that. It used to raise an issue of trust. But now that God has brought my marriage to another level. I let God handle those situations. But when it did happen to me I took it to the Lord in Prayer..Easier said then done..But it worked. And my hubby doesn't resort to the internet for those things any longer. I tell ya God can work anything out!

I think the issue is definitely trust. There must be a level of trust in the relationship to be okay with it. I must say that a few years back I would NOT have been cool with it, but men are men and they need a lil' flava (smile). If I trust my man and we have a healthy relationship -- healthy in the sense that he is not looking at the porno in order to fulfill a void we have then it's okay. Hey, couples watch porn movies all the time together to spice things up a bit...Now, internet "hook up" rooms, as I call them, are different. I have varying views on those: blackplanet.com, match.com, etc. I don't think there is any place for it once we are in a relationship. That is a single person's recreational tool. Once we are in the relationship, the degree of interaction/activity on those sites should really diminish if not cease ... That's a good topic for discussion and separate topic all together.

I personally don't agree with Porn and or like any ideas about it. I can't control my boyfriend watching it, but he knows I dislike it alot.. My boyfriend now watches it now and does it a lot.

P.S. Now if it was photos of my girlfriends or girlfriends of mine-look-a-likes I'd be a little jealous ;) Overall- do nothing just ask questions and look at some porn of what you're attracted to yourself to see if you still feel bad about it!

5 years ago it would have aroused a feeling of distrust and betrayal. It bothered me back then because I didn't trust the person I was in a relationship with-- the lack of trust and the willingness to trust him was my issue, not his. If I hadn't had such a negative reaction to his looking at porn, he wouldn't have continued to sneek onto porn sites to look at it. In another relationship I was in recently, links were automatically stored on my pc to websites he had visited while I was away. The links were for an adult singles website-- and while the thought of him having a profile in search of a fantasy with a real person bothered me, I was able to talk to him about it without putting him on the defense or making him lie to me. In this situation, I didn't have the same insecurities about where I stand in my relationship with my man so my approach was softer. I asked him about it teasingly-- inquiring about his intentions of actually hooking up with someone and if there was any fantasy he had that he felt I wasn't willing or open to considering fulfilling for him. Turns out-- he just got an ego boost from women wanting him and it had nothing to do with what I did or didn't do. His honesty got my respect and from then on out my perspective of internet porn changed. I'm more confident in myself now than I was 5 years ago and if you don't let a man be a man, he'll be one anyway. I prefer not to have secrets in my household-- and I don't want my opinion of such a small thing causing shame or distance in my relationships. Now if the man is a freak-- meaning he's looking at pictures of necrophilia or beastiality habitually (meaning not just browsing out of curiousity) I'd feel different and that would be a relationship deal-breaker for sure! Titties, coochies, and!@#!@don't bother me even when it looks better than mine.

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